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Losing friends

January 20, 2013

In writing a Christmas letter, I go back through my date book and see what happened and hopefully get inspired to write something interesting for my friends and family. This year I found that my cousin +Mary Gayle Clarke had died Jan. 9th last year. Then, while I was getting the letters and cards out, my cousin +Dave Furcolow died on Jan. 12. I wasn’t able to go to either funeral or wake, but thanks to Facebook and phone calling, did contact most of the relatives who might not have been notified by the family, so I felt I did a service for the family in honor of the deceased. Still wish I had been there for the wakes, to hear the stories and get to know the friends and family of those I love and miss.
Being of a certain age, and having lost 3 brothers since 2000, when I do go to wakes and funerals, I look at the readings and the songs and the pictures displayed with an eye to, ‘would that work for me?’ I often take notes on things, but that just adds to the piles of papers in my apartment. My poor husband, a Felix to my Oscar, just tries to ignore them, and occasionally goes into a frenzy of buying plastic boxes in which to contain my overflow. Now I can’t find anything, but it looks neater. That’s another story.
Sharing stories is the best part of wakes and funerals, and I am always sad when I go to a parish funeral and noone gets up to share one. I wonder if I can hire out to do that for shy families? They can write down the stories and I will be happy to share it at the funeral . . .I think it is a good service to offer, but I can’t imagine charging people for that, so there is another good volunteer job for me, like I need that! Well, I am off to work, where Maisey is leaving the role of Justice that she created in Rock of Ages, and after the show we will gather and share stories – a different kind of wake, but just as important.

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